Hello, my name is Roshni. I'm a junior at the University of Oklahoma. I hope you all enjoy my blog and storybook! Please feel free to comment on whatever you like. :-)
(Personal photo from my trip to India, taken July 2013)
This was a really good introduction. I like how you made the characters Indian and had the mother wanting her children to be more in touch with the stories from their heritage. I was wondering, are you were going to have all of the stories told by the mother in a bed time story format? I felt that your introduction came to a sort of abrupt end. Maybe you could have Aarti explain her brief description of Hanuman to her children and have the children ask questions. I also noticed a sentence that was a little weird. In the fourth to last paragraph you ended with saying “… because they had to listen to actively listen and learn”. I think you were just trying to say “actively listen and learn”. Other than giving more of an introduction to Hanuman and that small error, I think you did a good job in setting up the stories to follow.
Your introduction really sets up your storybook in a nice format. It also allows you to tell separate stories of Hanuman without having each of them be a continuation of the other, which I thought was very clever of you to do. When I began reading your storybook and introduction, I was very curious as to why you chose Hanuman because he isn’t the first character I would’ve chosen; I thought it was an interesting choice. But after reading your Author’s Note, I think it’s very sweet that Hanuman as your main character was inspired by your own memories. I’m interested to read each of your stories since you have a personal connection to the Indian culture. I definitely want to hear about Hanuman mistaking the sun for a mango – that would be very fun! And it adds a little bit of humor, which isn’t very common through these Indian Epics stories.
I really like the style of your storybook. Very clean and nice. It makes it much easier to read the introduction because there are no distractions! I love that the story book is going to be like when parents tell their kids stories! I can't wait to learn more about Hanuman through your storybook, I find him quite interesting. It sounds like you have a ton of stories to tell about him. He isn’t one of the first characters I would have thought to write about, but I am happy you chose to! After reading your author's note, I realized how much of your memories are incorporated into the introduction. I think it adds a strong personal touch on the stories you will right. I really like that. It makes me feel like these interactions are more real. I think you've done a good job with your storybook so far and I will be returning for sure to read more of your stories! Great job!
That is hilarious. That part was not in my version of the Ramayana, about the mango. I find that hysterical because my partner, Randy, grew up in Yerington, NV which is surrounded by mountains. He entered the military and went to boot camp. On the first night in Mississippi he saw a big orange ball in the sky and had to ask what it was! Because of the mountains he had never seen a sunset!
I really like this idea and it kinda parallels mine. I’m doing children stories with Indian folk tales. I like the setup because it gives us a feel about what is coming for the story lines. The font is a little hard to read for me personally, so you might want to think about altering that. Another thought is, if these are children's stories, do you really want to have a pictures of Hanuman pulling out his heart for Rama? That would be something that would scare children crapless. Ha.
This storybook looks very clean and refined. The introduction got me hooked. It is a good way to both introduce the topics that you plan to go over and also intrigue your reader. I like that you based your storybook of Hanuman. He has been one of my favorite characters in all that we have read so far. I think one suggestion I might have would be to add more pictures to your introduction. I think that visual is a large part of blogging and it is important to keep your reader hooked but for the picture for your first story I have no complaints. It is awesome. I like that it is a little gory because I find that type of picture very real and interesting. It makes me think the story is going to be exciting instead of a sugar coated fairytale. Overall, excellent job!
I have already commented on your storybook once but here are some more thoughts.
Hi Roshni! I like the way you have set up your Hanuman- Indian Epics storybook. I like that you have decided to focus on Hanuman. He is a very interesting character in the Ramayana and I am always cheering for the good guy. I like the way you have started your storybook. Your introduction is very personable because it is a mother talking to her children which everyone can relate to. I also think it is important to make the mother have a passion for her culture. This gives a depth to the story that would not otherwise be there. The picture at the end of your story is not one I have seen before. I have always seen Hanuman as half human half monkey but in your intro picture he looks to be all monkey.
I look forward to reading more from your storybook and seeing your blog develop.
I think your storybook is coming along perfectly. I felt that your site is very clean and easy to navigate through. The pictures of Hanuman are great because it allows the reader to picture exactly who you are writing about. Hanuman was one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana so that is what drew me into your storybook. Your introduction was awesome. I love the idea that the entire story will be told in the form of bedtime stories. This will allow for the reader to get to know the character very well if they have never heard of him before. I brief introduction of Hanuman could not hurt in the introduction to really draw in the reader’s curiosity to continue reading. I do really enjoy that you have a personally connection in the way the stories are being told. I can really tell by reading that this is a great memory for you. Overall, great storybook and I am looking forward to reading more of your stories about Hanuman.
Hi Roshni! I loved seeing what you have so far on your Storybook! I think the overall concept of the bedtime stories is so cute and exciting -- I LOVE that you have such a personal connection. The format seems like it will work really nicely for the structure of the project, too. I can't wait to see how you're able to incorporate your own unique memories and influences into the rest of the stories! The website design is so lovely and clean. It was easy to navigate and easy to read, but still fit the theme of your storybook and helped set the right tone for your story. I know Hanuman is the character you'll be focusing on, but I wish the title of the storybook was more descriptive -- I think you've got such great ideas going already, the rest of the world deserves to know how cool and creative your project is!
Hey Roshi. Your storybook is definitely coming along. Your site is very user friendly which makes it very convenient for us readers , so good job there. Your personal connection to the stories is what really makes them a good read though. It makes me want to read more of your writings because I feel like the stories hold actual meaning to you. The idea of bed time stories is great as well. Overall, excellent job! Keep it up.
Hi Roshni. I just reviewed your blog and thought it was really cool. I thought your background good and you also used video which I might think about doing in the future.
I am glad that you decided to upload the video Daylight by Matt and Kim. I actually really like this song. I used to listen to it all the time. It is a very catchy song that I always am in the mood to listen to. I have never actually seen the video so it was cool to watch. Thank you for sharing your music video.
This is the first time that I have ever heard of the song "Daylight" by Matt and Kim. That isn't surprising though. I haven't heard of a lot of things. I can definitely see why it gets you pumped up. It has a very light, simple melody and the vocals are in the higher range. Thanks for sharing!
Hi Roshni! I was just dropping by to see what kind of music you had posted. I have to say I love the background you have chosen! It feels like what it looks like outside, fresh springtime. The music you chose is wonderful. It is a great and uplifting song that will now be dancing around in my head! Love it!
I was happy to see this song come up. I had never been a fan of Matt and Kim until I saw them perform live at Austin City Limits, but that show was so high energy and exciting that I've enjoyed listening to them since Thanks so much for sharing, good luck with the rest of the semester.
I have never heard this song before, but I have to say that I really like it. The way that he sings is unique and the video was great. I thought the scene where they were playing out of a refrigerator was funny. Also, it was clever for them to show them back in the bed where they started with their close all trashed. Thanks for sharing!
I am currently in the car on the way back to Oklahoma and this is a great morning drive song! I have never heard it before, but I can see why this is a song that pumps you up! It has a really happy and peppy feel to it! I feel like this is one of those songs where it is almost impossible to listen to and be upset.
This is the first time listening to this song, and I really like it. I needed a pick me up while doing homework and this did the job. It definitely does pump me up too! So, thank you for sharing!
Ah! I legit almost picked this song for my comment wall; it's one of my absolute favorites! You must have impeccable taste. ;) Matt & Kim were one of my favorite bands in high school. I never got as into their newer stuff, but I still put on Grand when I need a happy nostalgia trip. Random aside: even though I'm a music ed major at OU, which is a huge marching band school, I don't really want to teach marching band. But, I've always said that if I had to, I'd arrange the sickest stand tunes. This song has been the top of the list ever since.
I have already been to your blog once so it was great to come and see the first story. I will say that picture of Hanuman with his chest open is just really disturbing. HA
I like the layout of the storybook. The colors are pleasing: cool and calm. The font style is whimsical and plays well with it being a children's storybook.
The story that you presented was of Hanuman’s birth. I like the way you portrayed the story, but I was hoping for more of an original story: us going into the story that was being told. I felt like instead we were just being told the story by the mother. This is a little disjointed for me as an audience participant. Why are we listening into these stories and this moment in time? Where is the conflict for this story and how does the retelling of the India epic mix in with it? If there is no conflict in the actual scene that we are watching as an audience then what is the motivation for the audience to not just get the original material?
First off I think that your storybook is a wonderful idea and one that seems so close and prevalent to your younger self. I think it is very important to understand where your family has come from and the values, traditions, culture, and religion that is associated with that. Your introduction is a nice scene setter for the rest of the stories to follow. I really got a great glimpse into the character’s personalities and the type of home they live in. I also like that you chose to focus on Hanuman, who I think is a great example of humility and leadership. For the Anjaneya story, I think you broke the story up well into paragraphs because it flows great and is visually pleasing. I always like the intrusion by the kids, where they address the mother to get back on track about Hanuman’s birth. I wonder what the kids thought about the story. Did they really understand the story or was it just the coolest thing they have ever heard? You might consider adding in some of the children’s thoughts. Overall, great work!
Hello, Roshni. I just finished reading the first section of your storybook, Anjaneya. I liked that you took a traditional approach to your storybook. I too have fond memories of my parents reading to me at night before bed. The introduction and first story were written well and void of errors. It looks like you have already dedicated time to editing both of them. I thought the implementation of the traditional storybook was unique. Instead of the introduction segueing into an actual storybook, you continue to narrate the stories through Aarti, Raj, and Risha. This helps to maintain the image of a mother reading to her children. If it had transition into a traditional storybook without the narration, it would have simply been me reading to myself.
The layout of your blog is intuitive and the text is easy to read. I had no issues with navigating around the storybook.
Overall, your storybook is off to a great start. I look forward to reading more as the semester comes to a close.
Let me say that the image in the cover of your storybook is amazing! I love it so much! The image of him opening his chest is extremely expressive. It shows his intense love for Rama. It really emphasis his companionship with Rama. I am actually doing my storybook with Hanuman as well! I would really love to use this image in my storybook. I love how you actually have a specific connection to Hanuman and the style in which you write your stories. The introduction was awesome! It is cool to get a different perspective of Hanuman especially since I am using him as a main character. I would also like to read the mango story to get something else to place into my story. I enjoyed reading about his birth. I also did not know there were many different stories about his birth. Overall I enjoyed your stories.
Hello Roshni, I really enjoyed reading your retell story “The story of Hanuman.” It was a great story with some great description including the images you uses while telling the story. Using images is a great way for readers to understand the story. From the course we did not get to know the entire story of Hanuman, like we did for Rama. I thought that it was great that you touched on it and gave us the chance to know the story of Hanuman as well. While I was reading it I was connecting it with the story of Rama. I liked the way you started out the story, especially the introduction you gave. It was a great idea of Indian mother telling her kids the bedtime story of what they believe in and how and why they believe that way. Overall, it was a great story with great creative idea. Thanks for sharing.
Roshni, Your way of introducing the characters and the story is really relatable and interesting. I could see these actions happening in everyday life in a household. The kids are the characters in your story that makes it shine. I really think the actions that you described those kids with are hundred percent true about kids. Now to the theme of the story, I cannot wait to read more about Hanuman. I love this idea about making kids learn the story about Hanuman during their bed time. I wonder how your story would continue and I am excited to see how you will bring the story of Hanuman for us to read. This was an interesting read! It was easy to follow and the dialogue for kids in between to bring the life to the story. I wish you all the best for your upcoming stories and I will definitely check back to learn more about Hanuman. Good luck!
Hey Roshni! I was so excited to come back and check out the first story in your Storybook! Actually, I thought of your storybook a few weeks ago when I read about the political controversy involving our lovely state government trying to keep their statue of the Ten Commandment at the capitol; apparently a major Hindu organization argued that in the name of fairness, their religion should also be represented, so they proposed a statue of Hanuman! Anyway, I continue to be impressed by the personal touches you're able to include in this Storybook. I agree that the version involving the curse is the most child-friendly of Hanuman's origins, so I think it was a great decision to pick that one. Your storytelling so far is simple enough to be understood by children, as it's presented, but also very engaging and overall SO much fun. Can't wait to read more!
I chose to come back to your storybook and read one of your stories because I remember liking your introduction very much. The story I chose was “Anjaneya”, and I was surprised to find out that that was actually another name for Hanuman. I had never read anything about Hanuman’s origins, so this was a pretty interesting read for me. I thought you did a great job in continuing on with the family atmosphere that you set up in the introduction. This style sort of takes me back to when I was learning to read with my mom. I really like that you are drawing on stories from your childhood. Was this how your mother told these kinds of stories to you? Your authors note was really helpful in explaining how many versions of this same story there are. I also liked the ending where you had the children brush their teeth because your mother was a dentist. That was a nice personal touch. Great job on this first story.
Hi Roshni, I love how the whole theme of your story book is based on bedtimes stories. It was a creative idea to tap into your own personal experience as the basis for creating else stories. I love how surprised the twins are about their mothers excitement to share these old stories with them. At first they were so reluctant to get involved with the story but with time it grew on them. Your introduction was a great way to introduce the characters. From the children point of view, they must see their mother Aarti as very strict. When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father ever tell you tories about the Ramayana? It is so neat that Aarti is using a method as simple as bed time stories to not only bond with her children but educated them further about their religion. I'm sure Raj and Risha will love hearing all about the life and adventures of Hanuman.
I think you did a great job in exercising the bedtime story style. I think this style is very relatable for any generation, if you are the storyteller or listener. I like the details of your setting too. My aunt is expecting twins in a couple of months and I can totally see her telling bedtime stories like Aarti. She is very much into teaching everyone and anyone she meets about the importance of culture. You did an amazing job in portraying her tone in the introduction. It made me want to read more into your Storybook. I love that you took inspirations as a child into your decision of the style. Very neat! I think culture is key in someone’s personality and I can tell that you hold a great importance in tradition. Also, I think the mango story is quiet funny. I mean I think we all would chase a delicious fruit as well if we didn’t know it was the sun!
Roshni, I love your storybook being all about Hanuman. The story I read was called The Ripe Sun. I love how you picked a light hearted story to tell because it coincided with the bedtime story theme you have had going on throughout the story telling process. It was creative how you switched up this story by adding in Raj and Risha's friends there to hear the story too. I thought it was funny how Risha's friend Neha was excited to hear the story while Raj's friend Aakash was less than thrilled. Typical boys haha! This story was interesting because while Hanuman was punished by Indra for doing something wrong, it was an accident. I liked how Hanuman's father Vayu defended him and made Indra take back the scar. Speaking of the scar, thank you for the background story on that. It was interesting and added a little something extra to the story.
First off, congratulations on being nominated one of the best storybooks! I really love the style that you have written all of your stories in. You manage to fit in the substance of the Indian Epics along with the lives of your characters very beautifully. I felt that you could have focused more on the story of Hanuman in this particular story, though. You seemed like you spent more time explaining what was going on with the children than you did on the story. The picture was well placed and it shows exactly what you described in your story.
Your author’s note was great. I like that you incorporate aspects of your child hood into your stories too. Do you feel like this added a lot of connection to you and the stories? I think you were right to leave out the details about Sugriva and Vali. This would have most likely taken away from the focus of Hanuman. Great story and it was a pleasure to read.
Roshni, I liked the way you set up your storybook. It is very organized and detailed. Several blog’s used the storybook idea as a general theme. I wish I had had a chance to read all of your entries. Out of all of the Ramayana characters, I really liked Hanuman the best. Without his heroic efforts Rama and his men would have been in no position to capture Sita.
The Ripe Sun was depicted in a great way. You were able to transform Hanuman and his adventures into storybook character that younger children could relate to. I liked the added detail in your author's note for example, the vajra was a thunderbolt. The theories behind how Hanuman’s name was derived were also interesting. "Han" "maana" which meant one who's pride was destroyed is one I will have to read up on. Hanuman was one of the noblest characters in most of the stories I read.
Great job and congratulations on being a finalist for your storybook!
Hello Roshni! I'm saddened by the fact that I just now discovered your portfolio. I wish I had found it sooner! I thought the picture at Hanuman, at the very beginning, was very striking and had me very curious about how you were going to tie it into the story. Also, your layout is really great, you can see where everything is and I like the fact that the different tabs are at the top instead of the side. Your introduction read extremely well, I liked the fact you broke up the speaking parts from the description, it put more focus on what the characters were saying. It was really great that you changed your style of writing for your portfolio and I thought it worked out extremely well for you. I really enjoyed the story by the way! It was well written and like I said I just wish I had clicked on it a lot sooner! Congratulations, on being finalist! I think that's wonderful :)
Hi Roshni,
ReplyDeleteThis was a really good introduction. I like how you made the characters Indian and had the mother wanting her children to be more in touch with the stories from their heritage. I was wondering, are you were going to have all of the stories told by the mother in a bed time story format? I felt that your introduction came to a sort of abrupt end. Maybe you could have Aarti explain her brief description of Hanuman to her children and have the children ask questions. I also noticed a sentence that was a little weird. In the fourth to last paragraph you ended with saying “… because they had to listen to actively listen and learn”. I think you were just trying to say “actively listen and learn”. Other than giving more of an introduction to Hanuman and that small error, I think you did a good job in setting up the stories to follow.
Your introduction really sets up your storybook in a nice format. It also allows you to tell separate stories of Hanuman without having each of them be a continuation of the other, which I thought was very clever of you to do. When I began reading your storybook and introduction, I was very curious as to why you chose Hanuman because he isn’t the first character I would’ve chosen; I thought it was an interesting choice. But after reading your Author’s Note, I think it’s very sweet that Hanuman as your main character was inspired by your own memories. I’m interested to read each of your stories since you have a personal connection to the Indian culture. I definitely want to hear about Hanuman mistaking the sun for a mango – that would be very fun! And it adds a little bit of humor, which isn’t very common through these Indian Epics stories.
ReplyDeleteHi Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI really like the style of your storybook. Very clean and nice. It makes it much easier to read the introduction because there are no distractions! I love that the story book is going to be like when parents tell their kids stories! I can't wait to learn more about Hanuman through your storybook, I find him quite interesting. It sounds like you have a ton of stories to tell about him. He isn’t one of the first characters I would have thought to write about, but I am happy you chose to! After reading your author's note, I realized how much of your memories are incorporated into the introduction. I think it adds a strong personal touch on the stories you will right. I really like that. It makes me feel like these interactions are more real. I think you've done a good job with your storybook so far and I will be returning for sure to read more of your stories! Great job!
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteThat is hilarious. That part was not in my version of the Ramayana, about the mango. I find that hysterical because my partner, Randy, grew up in Yerington, NV which is surrounded by mountains. He entered the military and went to boot camp. On the first night in Mississippi he saw a big orange ball in the sky and had to ask what it was! Because of the mountains he had never seen a sunset!
I really like this idea and it kinda parallels mine. I’m doing children stories with Indian folk tales. I like the setup because it gives us a feel about what is coming for the story lines. The font is a little hard to read for me personally, so you might want to think about altering that. Another thought is, if these are children's stories, do you really want to have a pictures of Hanuman pulling out his heart for Rama? That would be something that would scare children crapless. Ha.
This storybook looks very clean and refined. The introduction got me hooked. It is a good way to both introduce the topics that you plan to go over and also intrigue your reader. I like that you based your storybook of Hanuman. He has been one of my favorite characters in all that we have read so far. I think one suggestion I might have would be to add more pictures to your introduction. I think that visual is a large part of blogging and it is important to keep your reader hooked but for the picture for your first story I have no complaints. It is awesome. I like that it is a little gory because I find that type of picture very real and interesting. It makes me think the story is going to be exciting instead of a sugar coated fairytale. Overall, excellent job!
ReplyDelete-Looking forward to reading more.
-Sara
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteI have already commented on your storybook once but here are some more thoughts.
DeleteHi Roshni! I like the way you have set up your Hanuman- Indian Epics storybook.
I like that you have decided to focus on Hanuman. He is a very interesting character in the Ramayana and I am always cheering for the good guy. I like the way you have started your storybook. Your introduction is very personable because it is a mother talking to her children which everyone can relate to. I also think it is important to make the mother have a passion for her culture. This gives a depth to the story that would not otherwise be there. The picture at the end of your story is not one I have seen before. I have always seen Hanuman as half human half monkey but in your intro picture he looks to be all monkey.
I look forward to reading more from your storybook and seeing your blog develop.
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI think your storybook is coming along perfectly. I felt that your site is very clean and easy to navigate through. The pictures of Hanuman are great because it allows the reader to picture exactly who you are writing about. Hanuman was one of my favorite characters in the Ramayana so that is what drew me into your storybook. Your introduction was awesome. I love the idea that the entire story will be told in the form of bedtime stories. This will allow for the reader to get to know the character very well if they have never heard of him before. I brief introduction of Hanuman could not hurt in the introduction to really draw in the reader’s curiosity to continue reading. I do really enjoy that you have a personally connection in the way the stories are being told. I can really tell by reading that this is a great memory for you. Overall, great storybook and I am looking forward to reading more of your stories about Hanuman.
Hi Roshni!
ReplyDeleteI loved seeing what you have so far on your Storybook! I think the overall concept of the bedtime stories is so cute and exciting -- I LOVE that you have such a personal connection. The format seems like it will work really nicely for the structure of the project, too. I can't wait to see how you're able to incorporate your own unique memories and influences into the rest of the stories!
The website design is so lovely and clean. It was easy to navigate and easy to read, but still fit the theme of your storybook and helped set the right tone for your story.
I know Hanuman is the character you'll be focusing on, but I wish the title of the storybook was more descriptive -- I think you've got such great ideas going already, the rest of the world deserves to know how cool and creative your project is!
Hey Roshi. Your storybook is definitely coming along. Your site is very user friendly which makes it very convenient for us readers , so good job there. Your personal connection to the stories is what really makes them a good read though. It makes me want to read more of your writings because I feel like the stories hold actual meaning to you. The idea of bed time stories is great as well. Overall, excellent job! Keep it up.
ReplyDeleteHey Roshni. I really enjoy your blog! Just wanted to stop by and say that I like the background on your blog site. I really enjoy nature themes!
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteHi Roshni. I just reviewed your blog and thought it was really cool. I thought your background good and you also used video which I might think about doing in the future.
ReplyDeleteHey Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI am glad that you decided to upload the video Daylight by Matt and Kim. I actually really like this song. I used to listen to it all the time. It is a very catchy song that I always am in the mood to listen to. I have never actually seen the video so it was cool to watch. Thank you for sharing your music video.
This is the first time that I have ever heard of the song "Daylight" by Matt and Kim. That isn't surprising though. I haven't heard of a lot of things. I can definitely see why it gets you pumped up. It has a very light, simple melody and the vocals are in the higher range. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteHi Roshni!
ReplyDeleteI was just dropping by to see what kind of music you had posted. I have to say I love the background you have chosen! It feels like what it looks like outside, fresh springtime. The music you chose is wonderful. It is a great and uplifting song that will now be dancing around in my head! Love it!
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI was happy to see this song come up. I had never been a fan of Matt and Kim until I saw them perform live at Austin City Limits, but that show was so high energy and exciting that I've enjoyed listening to them since Thanks so much for sharing, good luck with the rest of the semester.
Andrew
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI have never heard this song before, but I have to say that I really like it. The way that he sings is unique and the video was great. I thought the scene where they were playing out of a refrigerator was funny. Also, it was clever for them to show them back in the bed where they started with their close all trashed. Thanks for sharing!
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI am currently in the car on the way back to Oklahoma and this is a great morning drive song! I have never heard it before, but I can see why this is a song that pumps you up! It has a really happy and peppy feel to it! I feel like this is one of those songs where it is almost impossible to listen to and be upset.
This is the first time listening to this song, and I really like it. I needed a pick me up while doing homework and this did the job. It definitely does pump me up too! So, thank you for sharing!
ReplyDeleteAh! I legit almost picked this song for my comment wall; it's one of my absolute favorites! You must have impeccable taste. ;)
ReplyDeleteMatt & Kim were one of my favorite bands in high school. I never got as into their newer stuff, but I still put on Grand when I need a happy nostalgia trip.
Random aside: even though I'm a music ed major at OU, which is a huge marching band school, I don't really want to teach marching band. But, I've always said that if I had to, I'd arrange the sickest stand tunes. This song has been the top of the list ever since.
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI have already been to your blog once so it was great to come and see the first story. I will say that picture of Hanuman with his chest open is just really disturbing. HA
I like the layout of the storybook. The colors are pleasing: cool and calm. The font style is whimsical and plays well with it being a children's storybook.
The story that you presented was of Hanuman’s birth. I like the way you portrayed the story, but I was hoping for more of an original story: us going into the story that was being told. I felt like instead we were just being told the story by the mother. This is a little disjointed for me as an audience participant. Why are we listening into these stories and this moment in time? Where is the conflict for this story and how does the retelling of the India epic mix in with it? If there is no conflict in the actual scene that we are watching as an audience then what is the motivation for the audience to not just get the original material?
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteFirst off I think that your storybook is a wonderful idea and one that seems so close and prevalent to your younger self. I think it is very important to understand where your family has come from and the values, traditions, culture, and religion that is associated with that. Your introduction is a nice scene setter for the rest of the stories to follow. I really got a great glimpse into the character’s personalities and the type of home they live in. I also like that you chose to focus on Hanuman, who I think is a great example of humility and leadership. For the Anjaneya story, I think you broke the story up well into paragraphs because it flows great and is visually pleasing. I always like the intrusion by the kids, where they address the mother to get back on track about Hanuman’s birth. I wonder what the kids thought about the story. Did they really understand the story or was it just the coolest thing they have ever heard? You might consider adding in some of the children’s thoughts. Overall, great work!
Hello, Roshni. I just finished reading the first section of your storybook, Anjaneya. I liked that you took a traditional approach to your storybook. I too have fond memories of my parents reading to me at night before bed. The introduction and first story were written well and void of errors. It looks like you have already dedicated time to editing both of them. I thought the implementation of the traditional storybook was unique. Instead of the introduction segueing into an actual storybook, you continue to narrate the stories through Aarti, Raj, and Risha. This helps to maintain the image of a mother reading to her children. If it had transition into a traditional storybook without the narration, it would have simply been me reading to myself.
ReplyDeleteThe layout of your blog is intuitive and the text is easy to read. I had no issues with navigating around the storybook.
Overall, your storybook is off to a great start. I look forward to reading more as the semester comes to a close.
Hi Roshni,
ReplyDeleteLet me say that the image in the cover of your storybook is amazing! I love it so much! The image of him opening his chest is extremely expressive. It shows his intense love for Rama. It really emphasis his companionship with Rama. I am actually doing my storybook with Hanuman as well! I would really love to use this image in my storybook. I love how you actually have a specific connection to Hanuman and the style in which you write your stories. The introduction was awesome! It is cool to get a different perspective of Hanuman especially since I am using him as a main character. I would also like to read the mango story to get something else to place into my story. I enjoyed reading about his birth. I also did not know there were many different stories about his birth. Overall I enjoyed your stories.
Hello Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed reading your retell story “The story of Hanuman.” It was a great story with some great description including the images you uses while telling the story. Using images is a great way for readers to understand the story. From the course we did not get to know the entire story of Hanuman, like we did for Rama. I thought that it was great that you touched on it and gave us the chance to know the story of Hanuman as well. While I was reading it I was connecting it with the story of Rama. I liked the way you started out the story, especially the introduction you gave. It was a great idea of Indian mother telling her kids the bedtime story of what they believe in and how and why they believe that way. Overall, it was a great story with great creative idea. Thanks for sharing.
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteYour way of introducing the characters and the story is really relatable and interesting. I could see these actions happening in everyday life in a household. The kids are the characters in your story that makes it shine. I really think the actions that you described those kids with are hundred percent true about kids. Now to the theme of the story, I cannot wait to read more about Hanuman. I love this idea about making kids learn the story about Hanuman during their bed time. I wonder how your story would continue and I am excited to see how you will bring the story of Hanuman for us to read. This was an interesting read! It was easy to follow and the dialogue for kids in between to bring the life to the story. I wish you all the best for your upcoming stories and I will definitely check back to learn more about Hanuman. Good luck!
Hey Roshni!
ReplyDeleteI was so excited to come back and check out the first story in your Storybook! Actually, I thought of your storybook a few weeks ago when I read about the political controversy involving our lovely state government trying to keep their statue of the Ten Commandment at the capitol; apparently a major Hindu organization argued that in the name of fairness, their religion should also be represented, so they proposed a statue of Hanuman!
Anyway, I continue to be impressed by the personal touches you're able to include in this Storybook. I agree that the version involving the curse is the most child-friendly of Hanuman's origins, so I think it was a great decision to pick that one. Your storytelling so far is simple enough to be understood by children, as it's presented, but also very engaging and overall SO much fun.
Can't wait to read more!
Hi Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI chose to come back to your storybook and read one of your stories because I remember liking your introduction very much. The story I chose was “Anjaneya”, and I was surprised to find out that that was actually another name for Hanuman. I had never read anything about Hanuman’s origins, so this was a pretty interesting read for me. I thought you did a great job in continuing on with the family atmosphere that you set up in the introduction. This style sort of takes me back to when I was learning to read with my mom. I really like that you are drawing on stories from your childhood. Was this how your mother told these kinds of stories to you? Your authors note was really helpful in explaining how many versions of this same story there are. I also liked the ending where you had the children brush their teeth because your mother was a dentist. That was a nice personal touch. Great job on this first story.
Hi Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI love how the whole theme of your story book is based on bedtimes stories. It was a creative idea to tap into your own personal experience as the basis for creating else stories. I love how surprised the twins are about their mothers excitement to share these old stories with them. At first they were so reluctant to get involved with the story but with time it grew on them. Your introduction was a great way to introduce the characters. From the children point of view, they must see their mother Aarti as very strict. When you were a child growing up, did your mother or father ever tell you tories about the Ramayana? It is so neat that Aarti is using a method as simple as bed time stories to not only bond with her children but educated them further about their religion. I'm sure Raj and Risha will love hearing all about the life and adventures of Hanuman.
I think you did a great job in exercising the bedtime story style. I think this style is very relatable for any generation, if you are the storyteller or listener. I like the details of your setting too. My aunt is expecting twins in a couple of months and I can totally see her telling bedtime stories like Aarti. She is very much into teaching everyone and anyone she meets about the importance of culture. You did an amazing job in portraying her tone in the introduction. It made me want to read more into your Storybook. I love that you took inspirations as a child into your decision of the style. Very neat! I think culture is key in someone’s personality and I can tell that you hold a great importance in tradition. Also, I think the mango story is quiet funny. I mean I think we all would chase a delicious fruit as well if we didn’t know it was the sun!
ReplyDeleteRoshni,
ReplyDeleteI love your storybook being all about Hanuman. The story I read was called The Ripe Sun. I love how you picked a light hearted story to tell because it coincided with the bedtime story theme you have had going on throughout the story telling process. It was creative how you switched up this story by adding in Raj and Risha's friends there to hear the story too. I thought it was funny how Risha's friend Neha was excited to hear the story while Raj's friend Aakash was less than thrilled. Typical boys haha! This story was interesting because while Hanuman was punished by Indra for doing something wrong, it was an accident. I liked how Hanuman's father Vayu defended him and made Indra take back the scar. Speaking of the scar, thank you for the background story on that. It was interesting and added a little something extra to the story.
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteFirst off, congratulations on being nominated one of the best storybooks! I really love the style that you have written all of your stories in. You manage to fit in the substance of the Indian Epics along with the lives of your characters very beautifully. I felt that you could have focused more on the story of Hanuman in this particular story, though. You seemed like you spent more time explaining what was going on with the children than you did on the story. The picture was well placed and it shows exactly what you described in your story.
Your author’s note was great. I like that you incorporate aspects of your child hood into your stories too. Do you feel like this added a lot of connection to you and the stories? I think you were right to leave out the details about Sugriva and Vali. This would have most likely taken away from the focus of Hanuman. Great story and it was a pleasure to read.
Roshni,
ReplyDeleteI liked the way you set up your storybook. It is very organized and detailed. Several blog’s used the storybook idea as a general theme. I wish I had had a chance to read all of your entries. Out of all of the Ramayana characters, I really liked Hanuman the best. Without his heroic efforts Rama and his men would have been in no position to capture Sita.
The Ripe Sun was depicted in a great way. You were able to transform Hanuman and his adventures into storybook character that younger children could relate to. I liked the added detail in your author's note for example, the vajra was a thunderbolt. The theories behind how Hanuman’s name was derived were also interesting. "Han" "maana" which meant one who's pride was destroyed is one I will have to read up on. Hanuman was one of the noblest characters in most of the stories I read.
Great job and congratulations on being a finalist for your storybook!
Hello Roshni! I'm saddened by the fact that I just now discovered your portfolio. I wish I had found it sooner! I thought the picture at Hanuman, at the very beginning, was very striking and had me very curious about how you were going to tie it into the story. Also, your layout is really great, you can see where everything is and I like the fact that the different tabs are at the top instead of the side. Your introduction read extremely well, I liked the fact you broke up the speaking parts from the description, it put more focus on what the characters were saying. It was really great that you changed your style of writing for your portfolio and I thought it worked out extremely well for you. I really enjoyed the story by the way! It was well written and like I said I just wish I had clicked on it a lot sooner! Congratulations, on being finalist! I think that's wonderful :)
ReplyDelete